


I Like Me Better (When I'm With You)

by plummuffins



Series: Made of Glass [1]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: F/F, Feels, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, I love them all, Love, M/M, and i'm going to do these shorts because i want to, and i'm making a huge series of this so stay tuned for me having emotions, like a lot, lots of love, sads, there will be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-07-11 19:19:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15978767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plummuffins/pseuds/plummuffins
Summary: some akeshu fluff, some family dynamic, working through some thoughts, and panic attacks.uh this is very spoilery so finish the game first. also the anime? idk her.





	I Like Me Better (When I'm With You)

**Author's Note:**

> i love all my children  
> this is un-beta'd and it's 5am so please be kind i will fix any major issues tomorrow if you point them out.
> 
> i am ignoring the collapse of the metaverse/the whole final arc of the game because i could care less about it.
> 
> this is part of a series of ficlets. i might do a second chapter but as of right now i don't have any inspiration for one. i hope this doesn't suck TOO much.

Akira woke to rain beating steadily on the glass of his attic room window. He cracked an eye open and was welcomed by the blurry, glassesless sight of his droplet-obscured grey-lit window. The sound of rain was one of his favourite, something comforting that seemed to wrap around him anywhere he was no matter how bad things ever got. It was mild storm today, the rainy season drawing itself to a close as the days grew shorter and the nights longer, so the rhythm wasn’t accompanied by anything more than a distant and friendly rumble of thunder. All that combined with the cozy warmth of his blanket, wrapped around both him and the body curled into his back, not to mention the furry bundle nestled beneath the cover against his stomach, threatened to lull him back to sleep. Unfortunately, today was not a day he could laze about--he had a confident route to maintain after all.

Morgana didn’t even stir as Akira rolled over, trading the cat’s position in his stomach to one at the small of his back. From this angle he could reach his phone, lighting up the screen to check the time--only 6:30 am, he could rest a bit longer--and scroll through his missed notifications. As he caught up on the late night group chat antics the warmth of his sleeping arrangement was accompanied by the warmth of affection blossoming in his chest at each poorly timed joke by Ryuji and every love-filled insult tossed between Futaba and Yusuke. He let his phone fall back to the bed with a smile, letting his eyes fall to the head that shared his pillow. His auburn hair a mess, Akechi was dead asleep, dark bags under his eyes that would likely still be around for weeks to come. Akira couldn’t help but reach his now empty hand over to brush some strands from that pale face, letting his eyes linger on the barely visible lines on the detective’s forehead that were all that remained of the pronounced frown Akechi seemed to constantly wear. Seeing him sleep like this always stilled a part of Akira’s heart that tensed up waiting for him to be gone every time he turned his back on detective. But he was _here_ and he wasn’t going to go anywhere. He let out a heavy sigh as his mind tried to bring back the panic of that wall coming down, trapping Akechi alone with his warped clone created by Shido’s mind. _That doesn’t matter now,_ he chastised his dangerous thoughts. After all,  Shido was gone, they were all safe and it was time to _rest_.

However, he couldn’t lay here forever, giving Akechi some creepy googly eyes while the other boy slept unaware, not when he had to go open for Sohjiro today. So he closed the gap of inches between their faces, gently kissing Akechi on the lips until the detective stirred, his frown returning but for a much nicer reason as he participated in the kiss. He cracked his eyes open, those amber orbs focusing on Akira, the act alone making his heart skip a beat.

“Hi,” Akira said quietly, breaking the stillness of the morning and smiling at the other boy, the same twist of nerves he always felt when he did something gentle with Akechi spiking back up.

Akechi must have read it on his face because his returning smile was reassuring and apologetic, all the peace of sleep leaving his body. He pecked Akira on the nose, his smile dissolving into a smirk as mischief danced in his eyes. “Careful not to look so eager to be betrayed,” he teased in a hushed voice, “it's kinda hot.”

Akira scoffed lightly, “I mean you already murdered me once, can you blame a guy for being cautious?” He winced after making the joke, barely catching the stormcloud of self loathing as it crossed the detective’s face only to be quickly replaced by the same frozen smirk which now had a forced tinge to it. “Sorry,” he muttered, brushing Akechi’s cheek with his thumb. “Shitty joke.”

Instead of replying, the auburn haired boy let his smile fall and closed the distance between their lips again, snaking an arm around Akira’s waist under the blanket and tugging him closer as he slipped his tongue between his lips. Akira welcomed him in eagerly, letting his eyes slip closed, hand properly cupping Akechi’s face as the detective rolled them so he lean over, a nearly primal edge to his kiss as his teeth scraped Akira’s lower lip. A shiver of excitement ran down his spine and he gasped as Akechi trailed kisses along his jaw to his neck where he bit down hard, sucking and teasing a nasty bruise into his tender flesh. Akira's fingers tangled into Akechi's long, silky hair and he let himself relax backwards, feeling something soft squish under his back. A moment of realization coming too late as the distinct yowl of a displeased cat caused them both to freeze.

Morgana wriggled out from under the covers, his tail poofed up and his lips drawn back in a frankly terrifying snarl. He was on the windowsill glaring down at them nearly as fast as his shadow self moves in Momentos. “I had one rule,” he growled deeply, “No freaky shit with the traitor while I'm cuddling you. One rule!”

“Morgana,” Akira began, finding it very hard not to laugh as he glanced at Akechi’s bemused expression.

“No,” the cat interrupted, “This is it. I'm moving in with Futaba.”

Akira gasped, eyes going wide. “But I'll miss your little toe beans!” He wasn't even ashamed at how genuine his exclamation was, a kernel of true panic touching his heart.

“Good riddance,” Akechi griped, “You hog all the best parts to cuddle.” As he spoke, he’d resumed his ministrations, now trailed down to Akira’s bare chest where he nibbled and kissed alternatively. If this wasn’t enough to distract Akira, Akechi slipped his hand down between them, brushing it lightly against his crotch through his boxers in a way that made him gasp and close his eyes involuntarily.

He didn’t see Morgana leave, but he heard the disgusted growl and felt the warmth of the room drain out when the lower window pane was cracked for the cat to escape through into the rainy morning. The leader of the Phantom Thieves wasn’t able to linger on the conversation or the implications of Morgana’s absence for the rest of the morning, however. Akechi saw to that.

***

“You probably could have handled things better,” Ann was giving him her particular look of motherly concern while she nursed a cup of coffee later in the morning. She’d come over after Futaba has messaged the group chat asking why a distraught, wet, and shivering Morgana had burst into her room at the “ass-crack of dawn”. She’d included a picture of him with a towel wrapped around him and a sour expression followed by a blurry picture that was undoubtedly the result of him attacking her phone.

No one had said it, really, but after defeating Shido and having Oda win the election the group had been on edge. Ann had been trying to keep peace, and she was more than a little overbearing with her attempts, but no one was about to tell her to stop. They all had the same fears--about being found out, about what was going to happen now. Sometimes you needed a mother figure when you’re afraid. It didn’t help that Akira had run off in Shido’s palace and when he came back he was dragging half-dead, _traitor_ , Akechi with him to their safe room.

So Akira didn’t ignore her, or brush her concern aside, though he knew it would be a rough morning when she came in and asked for a coffee.

“I know,” he replied, looking up from the cup he was drying to glance at Akechi where he sat at a table, frowning at his laptop and rubbing his neck in that way he did when something was stressing him out.

“God, your whole face gets all mushy when you look at him,” she hissed, not unkindly. “I hope I don’t look like that when I look at Shiho.”

“You don’t.” He put the cup away, his back to her. “You look worse.”

She snorted, “Sure.”

They fell into a comfortable silence while Akira continued to clean up after the morning rush--rather, the five or six regulars who came in every morning before heading off to their jobs. Sojiro was off with Futaba, helping her with the adult parts of school registration so she could start high school the next year. Even though he knew Akira was the leader of the Phantom Thieves, he trusted him not only with the safety of his daughter but with the running of his shop.

“I don’t know how to apologize for rolling onto him while making out with my boyfriend,” Akira murmured offhandedly, breaking their silence, while he scrubbed the counter on a spot that didn’t need to be cleaned.

“It’s more than that,” Ann lowered her voice, and Akira saw her cast a glance to make sure Akechi was occupied by his work. He was undoubtedly listening to them. “He’s just concerned for you--all of us are a little bit.” She chewed her lip nervously, watching Akira’s hands as they scrubbed.

“I have everything under control.” He wanted to snap at her, to tell them all to fuck off and let him _finally_ have the only person he’s ever wanted. Wasn’t his happiness important to them--didn’t he deserve to be _happy_ after _everything_ he’d been through this last year? But that wasn’t fair--they _did_ care, that’s why they wouldn’t leave him be. When he’d come home nearly comatose from the police station, they’d all seen him. They all knew that Akechi planned for that, he planned for Akira’s death, but his heart was torn in two, caught between Loki and Robin Hood in a way _only_ someone like Akira could possibly begin to understand. That’s why when Akechi raged against him for saving him, before crying and falling nearly catatonic for weeks after Shido’s defeat, Akira stayed, luring him out of his remorseful reverie until he could begin to function and heal. Well. At least the latter.

“Do you? Akira…” He paused and finally looked at her, flashing his steel-wall of a smile.

“I promise. I’ll think of some way to make up with Morgana. And if I need any of you to help me with Akechi I will ask.” He wouldn’t, he wouldn’t dare ask them to do anything for Akechi and he’d never let them tear them apart. If it came down to it, he wasn’t sure he wouldn’t let Akechi actually kill him.

“Well,” Ann smiled back, whether she could see through his confidence or not, and he felt his shoulders lose some tension. “We’re all going to meet at Haru’s later tonight. If...if you both wanna come.”

“Okay,” he put his hand over hers and squeezed it before continuing his unnecessary cleaning. She made a face at the soap suds he left on her but did change the subject, rambling on about her latest modeling assignment with that warm excitement in her eyes that always brightened his days. She left about an hour later, leaving him to his thoughts and his duties.

***

“They don’t want me there.”

Akira sighed, leaning his head down to Akechi’s shoulder as the lights of the passing city illuminated the two of them in the nearly empty train car. Akira had his arm around Akechi’s waist while they stood, the other holding the bar to keep them both steady. They could have sat, but it always felt weird to do so. They stood.

“They’ll try and be polite and it’ll just be awkward.”

“They want me there, so they’ll want you there.” Akira spoke softly, and for a moment he wasn’t sure if Akechi had heard him until the detective let out a sigh and he felt him lay his head against the top of Akira’s.

When they got to their stop, they left the train together, hand-in-hand, uncaring in the night who saw them. The walk to Haru’s was calm, and Akira wished they could have the rest of their lives like this--a peaceful nighttime stroll. But they arrived eventually, and had to endure everyone practically jumping into Akira’s arms in greeting while Akechi stood to the side, wandering around to get himself something to drink. Akira was always aware of him even when he was talking to the others. Everyone settled down, taking seats for the movie on and around Haru’s sofa. Makoto and Haru were cuddled up to one side, Ann was attacking Ryuji with tickles to get him out of the only recliner so she could claim it, but they’d likely end up sharing. Akira smiled where he sat, leaning against Akechi with Futaba leaning against his legs where she was seated on the floor. Yusuke was relaxed on the sofa between the lesbians and the gays, like a proper ace. Morgana was on Futaba’s lap, having ignored Akira thoroughly for the entire evening. He intended to speak to him before they left, but first he wanted to hold hands with Akechi and ignore the campy movie on the screen while he listened to his friends joke and giggle, taking in the moment as how precious it truly was.

“Akira.” He’d slipped away to use the bathroom an hour into the movie when he was cornered in the hallway by an agitated Morgana.

“Hey,” he shifted uncomfortably as his cat stared him down.

“Aren’t you going to apologize to me?”

“I...I intended to,” he instinctually glanced around for an escape. “I didn’t want to ruin the movie night for anyone..”

The hair on Morgana’s back stood up a little. “I had to walk to Futaba’s in the _rain_ , Akira.”

He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m sorry, Morgana. I’m a teenager, do you expect me to _not_ be inappropriate with my boyfriend?”

The cat let out a little snort of annoyance. “You know, I didn’t do anything when you brought that traitor to our safe-room. I didn’t even say anything when you nursed the person who _tried to kill you_ back to health. But I’m just supposed to accept when he takes my best friend cuddles away from me?”

“Morgana…”

“How can you even stand to be near him? We all...we all almost _lost_ you because of him. You were practically comatose!” Tears were beginning to well up in Morgana’s cat eyes in what was a distinctly human and nearly comical way.

“I know,” Akira was so quiet he was nearly whispering. He slumped against the wall he was in front of at the end of the hall. “But...I love him, Morgana. I-I know it doesn’t make sense. But I _understand_ him, the torment and his split soul. I understand _so many people_ and _all the time_ , it’s hard to breathe because of it. Every twisted, blackened heart we come across feels like a mirror to me--their thoughts are corrupt but how can I blame them? Every one of our enemies has been pushed by society or past pains into the horrible people they became. Akechi never asked to be beaten down, abandoned, or broken. So what if he got caught up in the chase after his asshole father? He regrets it now. He rejects a half of himself that he’s incapable of escaping from--so much it was more deadly to him than the bullet wounds he barely survived in the Metaverse. How can I look at someone who’s no worse than I am--someone I _love_ \--and tell them that the choices they made from a place or pain and desperation makes them somehow _unworthy_ of being around me? I wouldn’t do that to you, or any of the others, and I would die before I did it to Akechi.” He didn’t know where all the words came from, why his cheeks felt wet with tears. He wasn’t even looking at Morgana anymore, having slid down to the floor, wrapping his arm around his knees, his other hand tangled in his own hair as he stared at the ground in front of him. A sense of confused agony was swirling inside of him--an impossible drive to fix _everyone_ and _everything_ nearly suffocating him as it washed over him. He realized he’d been ignoring all the decisions, all these feelings, for weeks now, throwing himself into his relationship with Akechi. He knew how much his friends were hurt by the person he loved, he knew but he couldn’t...Akechi killed Haru’s _father_ and Akira had just brought him over, without even thinking about how either of them felt about it. He was being so _selfish_ and _fucking stupid_ what made him think this was a good idea? Akira didn’t notice how fast he was breathing, or that he couldn’t see the ground anymore. He didn’t notice Morgana run from the hall, or hear when someone approached him. But he did feel the warm familiar arms wrap around him, lips close to his ear whispering his name telling him _it’s okay, you’re safe, I love you_ over and over until his lungs began to work properly again, breathing in the warm strange smell of Akechi--like breathing in the crisp smell of a winter ocean surrounded by pine trees--and his vision allowed him to see the concerned face of Morgana by his feet.

“Shit,” he said breathlessly, “Sorry.” He was used to having panic attacks alone, but never around all his friends-- _his family--_ and certainly not around Akechi. His suspicions were confirmed when he glanced up to see everyone crowded up at the end of the hall, Morgana’s concern mirrored on their faces. He didn’t want to see them, so he turned his face to hide in the crook between Akechi’s shoulder and neck. “Sorry,” he said again, softly and only for Akechi.

He felt Akechi let out a soft, amused burst of air as he rubbed gentle circles on Akira’s back. “You have nothing to be sorry for,” he spoke with more gentleness than Akira had ever heard from him. “You hold everyone together--what made you think you wouldn’t need to be held too?”

Akira groaned softly, “You’re so corny.” But the words warmed him just like Akechi knew they would. With a sigh, Akira pulled away from his boyfriend, letting him help him to his feet and shooting an apologetic smile at everyone. “I’m fine--we can go. I didn’t mean to make a scene.”

Haru made a face at him like she wanted to strangle him when he said that, pulling herself up straight. “Absolutely not. You’re going to come sit at my table and drink some coffee until we all agree you’re actually _fine_.”

He winced slightly but should have seen that coming, lacing his fingers with Akechi’s he left them lead him from the hall to the kitchen, grateful that his maxed out guts helped him from running out of the house altogether. They wound up sitting at the bar in the kitchen instead of at the table, and everyone danced around the topic of his panic attack for the next couple hours. Akechi stayed by his side the whole time, a hand on him in some way or another, though he did join in the conversation when he could, trying to ease the tension around him as best he could. Seeing him and Haru talk so effortlessly made Akira feel even more like an ass for putting them in this situation, but he kept reminding himself that he did offer to leave and they asked him to stay, so he couldn’t take responsibility for any discomfort his friends were feeling. Not like that stopped him.

Morgana was nearly as close to him as Akechi was, keeping an eye on him, while occasionally glancing at Akechi. However, when it was time to wrap up for the night, he said goodnight to them both but said he’d stay with Futaba a little longer--which Akira was grateful for in a way. It’d allow him to be alone with Akechi, who he knew was going to want to know what exactly happened.

They had a quiet trip home.

“What happened?” Akechi had let them lay in bed side by side, quietly scrolling through their phones, before he finally broke the silence. He set his phone aside and rolled over to face Akira, and so Akira did the same, taking a deep breath.

“Nothing.”

“Akira..” Something unreadable crossed Akechi’s face and he reached out a hand, lightly brushing his fingers along a scar on Akira’s cheek he got when the police had beat him. “I know...I don’t necessarily deserve it, but please tell me. I want to help.”

Akira sighed, taking the trailing fingers in his hand, pressing Akechi’s palm to his cheek. “I guess we can’t keep up the dance around our emotions anymore, can we?” He smiled a bit, recalling their flirting before everything came to a head….remembering the few times they tangled together despite both knowing everything was meant to fall apart for them.

Akechi must have had the same thoughts, because he looked away for a moment, clearly unhappy to remember the events that followed. So Akira spoke, pulling him away from his dark thoughts.

“I just… I was trying to talk to Morgana. I remembered about you and Okumura--I felt selfish for bringing you to Haru’s because I didn’t think about things before. And I, I know things have happened that need to be addressed. But I’m not going to let you go.” He unconsciously tightened his grip on Akechi’s hand. “And I don’t want you to have to face anything. You’ve been through enough--it’s not _fair_.” He stopped speaking because Akechi had pressed his lips to Akira’s, pulling him away from the dangerous precipice of confusion and stress. Akechi kissed him, lightly and then deeper; Akira’s eyes fluttered shut, and he allowed Akechi to roll him over, in a mimic of their morning kiss, but his kiss tonight had no teeth. He kissed Akira like he was something fragile--a slow savouring of his lips and tongue--until they were both breathless. He pulled away and Akira opened his eyes slowly, meeting that nearly red and enigmatic gaze which had captured him from the moment they first met.

“Thank you,” Akechi said into the space between them, an adoring smile on his swollen lips. He let his forehead rest against Akira’s and the leader of the Phantom Thieves knew he’d never regret letting Goro Akechi steal his heart.

**Author's Note:**

> ~<3 give me comments please  
> -plum


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